Cindy's Story

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Cindy's Story

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Posted: 7/22/2009
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

I was put up for adoption when I was 4 days old. My adoptive family was very religious, and I was raised with a brother who was also adopted. My parents were in their late forties when I was born. I had a good life and am grateful to my parents for teaching me strong values, but as I grew older the generation gap widened and I felt out of place. They passed away years ago, along with my brother, and I was left with an empty place in my life. I had always wondered about my birth mother, and now that I didn't have to worry about offending my adoptive parents, I decided to move forward with the search.

When I contacted Search Quest America I was impressed by their professionalism and something about the company told me I could trust them. I was not disappointed--Julie Jones called me one morning to introduce herself as my researcher, and she called me that same afternoon to tell me my case had been solved. She found my birth mother, Rose. She appeared to be living, and Julie and asked my permission to contact her. I waited by the phone and reflected on the information Julie had provided.

When I was born, Rose was 24 and unmarried. When my birth father found out she was pregnant, he made it clear that he didn not want anything to do with her or the financial responsibility of having a child. At the time, Rose was living with her sister, Virginia, in San Francisco. Virginia was also a single mother, bitterly struggling to raise an infant. Faced with the reality of single parenthood, Rose decided to give me a chance at a better life by putting me up for adoption.

Julie called me back a few hours later and I could tell by the tone in her voice that something was wrong. Julie had spoken with Chuck, the man Rose married, and found out that Rose recently passed away from esophageal cancer. What was worse, Chuck had no idea Rose had given up a child for adoption, and he was not interested in speaking with me. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. Julie gave me his address and told me to write him a letter, which I did. Meanwhile, Julie found Virginia, Rose's sister and called to speak with her. Virginia also refused to speak with me, and hung up the phone. That was another harsh blow.

Finally, Julie got in touch with Virginia's daughter Wendy, who was excited about meeting me. She called me a few days later and I began to learn about my birth mother through her. We corresponded for months through email and little by little she sent me photos of my birth mother and the rest of the family. It was not the happy ending I had hoped for, but I accepted the situation, case closed.

Nine months later, Chuck responded to my letter. He wrote that he had thought about me for months, and finally remembered that years ago, on a sunny afternoon, Rose did mention that she gave a baby up for adoption. He and Rose never had children of their own, and he apologized for reacting negatively when Cindy called. He asked if I would still be willing to talk with him over the phone. I laughed out loud, grinned for days, and picked up the phone to try again. Since that day, Chuck and I have spoke several times; for both of us it is like having a part of Rose back again. Just the other day he sent me an email and said, "I am so happy that Rose decided to have you."

This whole experience has been life-changing. Months ago I was resigned to the fact that I would never have a relationship with my birth family, but now I am blessed to have a relationship with Chuck and Wendy. Maybe one day I'll get to meet them and my story will come full circle.

I guess it just goes to show that patience is a virtue. From this experience I have learned that everything happens for a reason and in its own time. Maybe if I had contacted Rose while she was still alive, she might have refused to dredge up that part of her life. One way or another, I'm glad I finally made the call to Search Quest America.

(Written by Mica Burton on Cindy's behalf).

Client ID#228822
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