Darlene's Story and Update

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Darlene's Story and Update

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Posted: 6/15/2011
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

"Both of my adopted parents have been deceased for some time, my mother for 38 years and my father for 11 years now. I have no brothers and sisters. I have a very lonely spot in my heart and I don't know anything about my birth family. I feel that I will never be at peace until I find my mother or other members of my birth family. I understand that they might not want to have contact, or might even be deceased today. But I can't be at peace until I know one way or another. Can you help me?"

Darlene first wrote this email to Search Quest America May 25, 2009. She hoped that she would finally be able to find the answers she has sought her entire life. She was not disappointed. Just three weeks later, when her researcher, Julie first called to introduce herself, her case had already been solved.
"The first time I ever spoke with Julie, she explained that she was my researcher and that even though I was prepared to wait up to six months for my case to be solved, she had already found my birth mother! I was shocked, and so grateful," Darlene said.

Darlene's birth mother Joyce lives in Nebraska today. Unfortunately she recently went through a series of strokes and has trouble communicating. "I am just so grateful that I found her before her health failed even more. I'm grateful she's still alive for me to put my arms around her and tell her that I love her."

Darlene has been blessed to become part of a very large extended family. "My mother's sister was the first person to contact me. We cried together and she told me that the family has thought about and prayed for me every day since I was born. They have always wondered what happened to me and prepared themselves for the day I would find them. I didn't have really high expectations going into the search because I know it was possible that my birth mother and her family may not be excited when I showed up all of a sudden. I could not have been more wrong. They have welcomed me with open arms and I am just so pleased with the way the search has turned out. I talk with my brother on the phone almost every day, and even though my sister doesn't want anything to do with me yet, I know she will come around in time and that is enough for me."

Darlene has been telling all of her friends about her positive experience with SQA. "I just had a good feeling about your company from the beginning. There's just something really honest about you all." Honesty and integrity are increasingly hard to come by these days, and Darlene is grateful to have found those qualities in SQA, "I knew I liked your company from the beginning. My expectations were surpassed tenfold!"

UPDATE from May, 2011

I want to bring you up to date on all that has happened in my life since Search Quest America helped me to find my birth mother in May of 2009. After you made contact with one of my aunts, I called and talked to her. Then my half brother, Bob, who lives with and takes care of my mother called me and we still talk about once a week. My husband and I went to meet my mother, brother, niece, and nephew in Gresham, Oregon over Labor Day weekend in 2009. We have since visited again in August of 2010 and December of 2010.

My mother has had several strokes and her speech is very hard to understand, but I am getting better at it. She has a really good attitude. She just keeps repeating and repeating until someone understands. She has a cute personality and laughs at herself all the time. Slowly, we are getting to know one another.

I also have a half sister, Betty, who lives in Arizona. At first Betty was not interested in getting to know me but I let her take her time and finally in Dec of 2009 she called me. We have talked almost every day since then and my husband and I met her and her husband in AZ in May of 2010. I think she and I will become best friends over time. Our lives have been very different. We are very different, but we can find some common ground. I think we "need" each other. We are both excited to have a sister!! I am having fun being the big sister!

I have also made a strong connection with another Aunt, Luella Davis, who lives in Portland. I have had no additional contact with any of the other aunts or cousins as my mother and Aunt Lu do not speak to any of them. The family is really divided.

I am happy that I reached out to find my birth family. It has been an interesting journey. It will take us time to get to know one another and establish relationships.

I also learned that I am really very lucky that my mother gave me up for adoption. I had a wonderful, but not perfect, life and was able to take advantage of many opportunities that probably would not have come my way if I had grown up in my birth family. I have a very loving extended adopted family. I am super close to all of my first cousins. I just wish I could have told my adopted parents THANK YOU for adopting me. They never wanted me to find my birth mother. I think I know why, but it would have been nice to tell them "yes, Murriell is my birth mother, but you two are my real parents."

Thanks for all your help. I feel much more settled and happier since I found my mother. It's good to know where you came from. I know that this has been a real blessing for my mother, too. No more hiding and I think she is relieved that I have had a good life and turned out pretty good!

(Written by Mica Burton on Darlene's behalf.)

Client ID#245608
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