For Me It Brings Closure

Peoples Dreams Do Come True

 

Phone App:

Adoption Search Journal

Adoption Search Journal
Adoption Search JournalAdoption Search Journal


Reunion Stories On your Phone

Reunion Stories
Reunion StoriesReunion Stories

Updated: October 15, 2018 

Resources:

Links

Updated: October 15, 2018 

Reunion Stories

For Me It Brings Closure

PrevNext



Posted: 7/11/2009
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

One day when I was six years old, I ran to my neighbor's house crying about my mother. I didn't feel like she loved me as much as my older brother, and I could not understand what I had done wrong. That's when my neighbor dropped a bomb, saying "You know, she isn't your real mother. She adopted you when you were a baby." I was shocked, and I although I didn't understand what adoption was, the words resonated in my mind, "She isn't your real mother." That night I confronted my parents at the dinner table, and they frankly denied it. "She's just a troublemaker trying to cause problems, don't give it another thought!" I was sent to my room that night and I learned never to bring the subject up again. As I grew older the distance between us grew and filled with anger and resentment. I knew there was something different about the way my mother treated me, and I was angry that no one would tell me the truth.

I am 51 years old now, and my parents passed away 13 years ago. Right after the funeral, my aunt came to me and said, "I promised them I wouldn't tell you until they were dead, but I guess I can tell you now. You were adopted, and your brother isn't your brother, he's your uncle." My aunt revealed the whole story. My mother gave birth to a baby boy who died a few days later. She and my father were acquaintances with a woman who was married to an abusive man. She had several children, and when she gave birth to a baby boy at the same time as my mother, she had compassion on her and let my parents adopt him. A few months later, she found out that her 15 year old daughter was expecting as well, and since my parents had provided a good home for her son, the woman forced her daughter to let my parents adopt her baby girl as well. So we were raised as siblings, when in reality my brother is actually my uncle. My aunt provided the original adoption papers, non-identifying information, and encouraged me to seek out my birth family. For me it was a joy to finally know the truth about my adoption, but my brother was devastated and felt betrayed that our parents never told him the truth. I am still angry at them for all the lies they told over the years, but now they are dead and I can't even tell them. My mother doted on my brother because he represented the baby she lost, but I never felt like she loved me the same. In truth I feel like I grew up without a mother, and after all these years I need to find the woman who gave birth to me so that I can feel like I belong to someone.

Two months after I contacted Search Quest America, Julie Jones solved my case. She called me on the phone one day and said, 'I found your birth mother alive and well. She lives in Missouri. She's waiting for you to call." I was shocked. I dreamed of finding her for years, but never visualized how the first conversation would go, or even decided what kind of relationship I was really looking for. Wary, I called her and we had a pleasant, but brief conversation. A few days later I received a long letter in the mail and she told me the whole story.

Supposedly, she was raped when she was 15, and I am a product of that rape. She says that my birth father and one of his friends went to jail over the situation, and though she wanted to keep me, her mother was ashamed and forced her to give me up. How was I supposed to react when I received that news? I never imagined that I was conceived violently, yet at the same time I am not sure how much of the story I can believe. I don't know for a fact if what she says is true, and I am not inclined to trust the mother figures in my life. She also said in the letter that she plans to visit me at my home in Indiana in 2 weeks. I do not feel ready to meet her or to face this new information. I feel like I opened Pandora's box and I am torn between wanting to slam it closed again and wanting to embrace my birth mother and her version of my past. One thing is for sure, I am definitely going to take this reunion slow.

I responded to her letter today. I explained that I am happy to finally know who I resemble. I am grateful to be able to identify myself and know who I belong to. But I am not a scared little girl anymore, I am a grown woman. I do want her in my life, but she can't smother me. I never really had a mother, and I will have to learn all over again how to love and trust her, birth mother or not. But I want to. So we'll take it slow. I am satisfied to finally have all the secrets revealed and the mystery solved. For me it brings closure, peace, and new hope.

(Written by Mica Burton on Peggy's behalf.)

Client ID#241764
PrevNext

 
Reuniting Family Mother and Son in Reunion With Adoptive Mother and Birth Mother Melva and Darlene in Reunion Reuniting Sisters Father in Service Molly Reuniting Mother and Daughter Reuniting Multiple Generations Reunion Stories Reuniting with Birth Mother Debra Reuniting World Wide
Peoples Dreams Do Come True...
Sharing and Bookmark Center