Healing 30 Years of Separation

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Healing 30 Years of Separation

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Posted: 4/7/2010
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

Hello, my name is Kara Lynn and I want to thank Julie at Search Quest America for helping me find my nephew. I have read through a lot of the stories on here and it seems like everyone is looking for a child or a mother or father. My story is a little different.

30 years ago my brother Harold was involved in what he thought was a happy relationship. He had a son named Richard Damien Lindsey and we loved that baby so much! When he was only 6 months old his parents split up and his mother took him away from our family. He was born in September of 1979 at Eustis Hospital in Lake County, Florida. His mother's name was Ruth.

He would be 30 years old now, and no member of our family has ever seen him since. Harold doesn't talk about the baby much--though I guess now he is a grown man. I see how much his heart hurts for his son, and I want to help put his mind at ease. He wonders if Richard had a good life, if he grew up to be a good man, and what his mother told him about his father over the years. He wants a chance to set the record straight and most importantly, tell Richard he loves him and he has never forgotten about him.

Our case was assigned to Julie Jones, and she was wonderful to work with. From the very first day she talked to us about the case, asked questions we never would have thought about and showed us we actually knew more about Ruth and Richard than we thought we did. She gave us realistic expectations about the search process and helped us understand all the possible outcomes--that Richard might be dead, that he might not want to be reunited, that he might be in jail or that it might be impossible to find him. We expected the worst, but hoped for the best.

About a month later Julie called to relay some information. She spoke with a man by the name of Gary, Ruth's current husband and Richard's step-father. Julie explained to him that she was hired by Richard's aunt and asked for Richard's whereabouts. Gary said Richard recently got married to a woman by the name of Noelle. He was in jail a few months ago, but was supposed to be out and coming to their house for Thanksgiving, but he never showed up. When Julie asked Gary if he knew anything about Richard's birth father, he said he had died several years prior. He was shocked to learn that Harold is alive and well and searching for his son. He took Julie's name and number and promised to get back to her if Richard called or made contact with the family.

Julie gave me the contact information and that night, I called and spoke with Ruth for the first time in 30 years. It was a short-lived conversation. She said that the last she heard, Richard was living in Baytown. She said she really hasn't been in touch with him very much over the past several years. Gary spoke with me and gave me the contact information for the parole officer who might know Richard's whereabouts. I called and found out that Richard is not on probation anymore. The officer suggested that I call Parole to see if he had been arrested. He hadn't. At this point I was very frustrated. It was clear that Ruth did not want me to contact Richard, but without current contact information it seemed impossible to get a hold of him.

Finally, about 3 weeks ago I received a phone call from Richard himself. His Mom finally gave him my message. He is in shock because he was told that his Dad was dead his whole life. He is really excited to get to know him. He said he doesn't look like anyone in his family and has never identified with anyone and always thought his Mom was lying. It was such an emotional conversation and it meant the world to Richard to know that he has always been remembered and loved. I put him in touch with his dad and both of them are on their way to healing after 30 years of separation. I am grateful that I was able to put the two of them together again and it would not have been possible without Search Quest America. Thanks so much for all your help! Keep up the good work! Sincerely, Kara Lynn.

(Written by Mica Burton on Kara's behalf.)

Client ID# 244447
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