I Always Wanted a Sister

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I Always Wanted a Sister

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Posted: 9/9/2009
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

My father's past life was kept a secret from me and my siblings until we were "old enough" to understand. Dad was married and had a family before he met my mom and I might never have found out if I hadn't found an old picture of them while going through my father's things after his death. Somewhere out there I have a half sister and 2 half brothers I have never met. I dont even know if they know about me and my siblings, or if they have any interest in getting to know us. The only thing I know about Joanna is that before our dad died 11 years ago, she wanted nothing to do with our family, which I can understand from the stories I have heard. I have no desire to disrupt her life or inconvenience her in any way, but I have always wanted a sister. I want her to know that despite his faults and the mistakes of his past, our father loved her. He was a wonderful father to us kids, and looking back I wonder how many times he regretted losing track of his other children. He never spoke of it, and that tells me how much it hurt him. Ever since I found out about my half-siblings, I have felt like something was missing in my life. I have been searching for them without success for the last 11 years, and finally decided to ask for help. I have already come to terms with the fact that they might not want anything to do with me or my family, but how will I know unless I try?

I first contacted Search Quest America about 2 months ago. Everyone I spoke with was so understanding and empathetic. From the first conversation I felt like they understood my concerns and would handle my case with more than just professionalism, but with compassion as well. My case was assigned to Julie Jones and the first step was to find the records of my father's first marriage. Once Julie had his first wife's full name, she found a friend of the family, who happened to still be in touch with my father's first wife. Billie reported that my sister, Joanna, got married several years ago and moved to Utah. Thankfully, she remembered her married name and the name of her husband. Julie combined this information with Joanna's birth date, and found her living in California with her husband and family. When Julie told me she had found my sister, I asked her to call and make the first contact--I wasn't sure I could handle the rejection if she hung up on me! Julie called me a few hours later to report that Joanna was surprised, but thrilled to be found! She promised to call the next day, a Sunday, and I waited by the phone wringing my hands all morning.

Finally, around noon, I received the phone call I had been waiting for. The first thing surprise was how alike we sound--our voices are very similar and before long I felt like I was catching up with an old friend. She told me about her life growing up--her mother remarried and she was well cared for by her step-father. She admitted to harboring some resentment toward our father for not playing a more integral part in her life. However, she was very open to the possibility of getting to know me and our siblings, and I couldn't ask for a better beginning! Thank you Julie and Search Quest America!

(Written by Mica Burton on Charlotte's behalf.)

Client ID#228531
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