In Search of Peace

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Updated: December 13, 2018 

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In Search of Peace

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Posted: 2/6/2010
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

I would like to know why my mother gave me to a foster family and never came back for me or let them adopt me. I would like to know who my father is. I am 68 years old and have wondered about my past for my entire life. I was 7 years old when my mother, Dorothy Flanary, dropped me off at a foster home and drove away. My 3 sisters and 1 brother were still in the car looking back at me, and I vividly remember standing at the curb, confused and feeling an incredible sense of loss. My father was killed in the war when I was 5, but by the time I was 7, my mother was already remarried. I don't remember any financial hardships or other circumstances that would have caused my mother to drop me off at that home--nothing at all. My name was Mary Anita Davis, but I was raised as Mary Kramer by my foster family.

I was treated very well and had a good life. But as the years passed, I used to write fantastic stories about what was happening in my birth mother's life in 1949. What could possibly have motivated her to abandon me? I wrote about what life must have been like for her and my other siblings and they grew up. I had no reason not to believe that they were living together happily somewhere else, life going on as normal without me. I naturally assumed that I was given away because I misbehaved or somehow wasn't good enough for them. It was a wound I nurtured silently as I tried to adjust to life in my new family.

My foster parents petitioned for adoption several times over the years. I was told that when each petition reached my mother, she was living in Long Island, New York. She denied their request for adoption every time. I took that as a sign that she would come back for me one day, but as the years passed I forgot my life as Mary Davis and my youthful anticipation turned to dread and fear. My memories of life with my biological mother faded and over time, I became Mary Kramer.

Now, I am 68 years old and find that I have a hole in my heart filled with questions and longing to understand the events that led up to that fateful day. I have searched for my siblings, 2 of whom are named Debbie and Dianne. They are in their early sixties now and may not even remember me.

About a month ago I decided it was best to proceed with the help of the experts. I contacted Search Quest America and my case was assigned to Julie Jones. I gave her all the information I had, everything I remembered about my childhood, and asked her to find my mother and siblings so I can get the answers I need. I believe my mother is still living on Long Island, New York, and I would like to talk to her first. She is in her 80s today, but I hope she is cognizant enough to know who I am and explain what happened 61 years ago.

Only 2 weeks after signing the contract, I received a phone call from Julie. It was a Friday afternoon and she told me she had found my birth family. She first contacted a man named Walker, my nephew. He took down all the information and agreed to pass it along to his family and call me back the next day. The problem is, he never called back. Julie has left several messages with no response.

I am grateful for Julie and SQA, who have been instrumental in helping me solve this case. She has given me phone numbers and addresses and my next step will be to write letters to my siblings and my mother, who is still living, and beg for answers. Even if I only have the chance to speak to them one time, I will be content. Truly, there is a piece in my life that's missing and I just feel that I would like to fill that void before I die. I have searched for a long time and just feel I need a little help and a little peace. As you can imagine, I feel 7 years old again, with all the abandonment, sorrow, and loss of being left on the curb again. I will keep you posted as I try one more time to reach out to my birth family and find answers to my questions, and most importantly--peace.

(Written by Mica Burton on Mary's behalf.)

(Client ID# 258587)
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