It Has Been a Long, Lonely Road Without You

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It Has Been a Long, Lonely Road Without You

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Posted: 7/8/2009
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

I am 46 years old, but all my life I have felt like a little girl lost in a wheat field, with the stalks so high you can't find your way out of it. I was 16 when I found out that my step father is not my biological father. It explained so many discrepancies between myself and my siblings, and it explained why I always felt like the black sheep in the family. At the same time, I felt betrayed and abandoned by my father. My mother told me that when I was three months old, she left and hadn't seen him since.

For several years I tried to search for him on my own. I was told he remarried and started a new life, and with only a name and birth date it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Every time I asked my mother for more information about him, like what he did for a living or where he lived the last time she saw him, she would get very angry and tell me, "Drop it. He's not a nice man." But for better or for worse, he is my father and I need to know where I come from. Several years ago she threatened to disown me if I pursued the search, so when I contacted Search Quest America I did so in secret.

My researcher, Julie Jones, made me feel so comfortable. She has handled many cases like mine and she offered valuable counsel about how to approach the reunion without scaring him away. I was so afraid that he might have passed away by now, that he might not want to know me, or worse, that the things my mother told me might be true.

I expected the search to take several months, and I was overjoyed when Julie called July 3rd to say that she had found my birth father alive and well living in Missouri, and he was anxious to speak with me. Hearing his voice for the first time was like a dream. He told me he had always wondered about me and hoped that one day I would find him. He freely admitted that when I was born he was a heavy drinker and an angry drunk, but he has been completely sober for the last 25 years. He did remarry and have a family, and he is excited to introduce me to my three half-siblings, two brothers and a sister. For the first time in my life I feel like a complete person. I told him, "Dad, it has been a long, lonely road without you." He assured me that I never have to be lonely again, because he won't lose touch with me ever again.

To others in my shoes, I encourage you to never stop searching. There is no guarantee that life will turn out the way you want it to, but sometimes it is even better. I am so happy to have found my father after all these years and I hope that Search Quest America will keep helping other people like me to find the missing pieces in their lives. We plan to get together next month to meet in person, and I look forward to our first daddy-daughter hug. I would not trade that experience for anything in the world!

(Written by Mica Burton on Billy's behalf.)

Client ID# 248274
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