It's Never Too Late to Find Answers

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It's Never Too Late to Find Answers

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Posted: 5/13/2009
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

It never bothered me to know that I was adopted. My parents explained at an early age that they loved me so much they chose me. I didn't really start to think about what a great sacrifice my birth mother had made until I had my own children. On the one hand I was grateful that she gave me a good life, but on the other hand I couldn't understand how she could carry me for nine months and then give me up. As my children grew older I decided that I wanted them to know their natural grandmother, or at least have an accurate medical history.

I started my search 40 years ago by joining a registry in Louisiana where I was born. But beyond that I never knew how to go about finding her. As the years passed I realized it was becoming unlikely that I would find her still alive. But I never gave up because I at least wanted to know my siblings.

I fell in love with The Locator show from the very first episode and thought about writing in to the producers. But week in and week out I sat through new episodes and never took the time to fill out the inquiry online. Finally when the second season began my daughter twisted my arm and we sat down and did it together.

I received a call from Search Quest America, who decided to take my case. The case was assigned to Cindy and she was marvelous!! I was dumbfounded when she solved my case in only three days. She found my birth mother still alive and well at 97 years old. She has a bit of Alzheimers and lives in a nursing home. Incredibly, she only lives 300 miles away from our home in Louisiana.

Yesterday I took my son and daughter and we drove out to meet her for the first time. She can't speak, but you can see in her eyes that she is very much alive and aware. She can answer questions with the nod of her head. We walked into the room and said hello. We introduced ourselves and finally I decided to ask her the all-important question.

I asked her, "did you ever give a baby up for adoption?" She nodded yes.

"Was it a little girl?" I asked. She nodded yes again.

"Did you name her Patricia Ann?" This time she started crying and nodded yes over and over again.

I had tears in my own eyes as I explained, "Well I'm that little girl, and I just want you to know that I'm doing just fine. Thank you so much for giving me a great life. I love you."

She might not have been able to talk to me, but I learned everything I need to know just by looking in her eyes. It meant so much for me to be able to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. We chatted for a while as I rubbed her back. I told her about her grandchildren and their accomplishments and about my life growing up. When it was time to leave, I gave her one last hug. I noticed that there was something different in her eyes. The loneliness we had seen when we first entered the room was replaced by peace.

I also feel that peace in my own heart. I have two half brothers and a half sister. I am still waiting to hear back from my siblings and other members of my family, but I know it will come in time.

My advice for others is don't ever give up. I never thought she would still be alive. Hire a professional and then work with your investigator--the little things you think don't make a difference might be the breakthrough in your case. My researcher tells me that my birth mother is the oldest person the Search Quest America team has ever found alive. I'm grateful for their help and definitely recommend their services to others. It feels like I have a part of the puzzle that was always missing from my life, and I feel whole for the first time in many years. I am so happy I searched! Elaine.

(Written by Mica Burton on Elaine's behalf).

Client ID# 239262
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