My Birth Mother Found Me On Facebook

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My Birth Mother Found Me On Facebook

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Posted: 11/30/2011
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

My husband has a nephew that's about five months younger than him. Not knowing his nephew or if he is okay has left an empty spot in my husband's life. My husband's older sister gave the baby up for adoption. The baby's birth name was Reagan Clark and he was born at Kaizer Foundation Hospital in 1961 and adopted out of Orange County. His mother could find him but keeps telling us just to leave it alone. But we know she didn't choose to give him up. Her husband made her give the baby up because it was not his child and he refused to raise him. The woman that adopted the baby was in her forties and not married, but we are told she was married later.

All the info I have I got from my mother in law back in 1998. Since then my in-laws have both passed on. My husband is almost fifty and I would love to find Reagan for him. I don't think Reagan even knows he is adopted because if he did, he would have no problem finding us, at least if he has his original birth certificate. His birth mother still has the same name as at the time of the adoption, and since it's a fairly uncommon name in the United States, it should be easy to locate her if Reagan is trying.

When we first called SQA, our computer was old and not working correctly. We were living in Oregon. Our computer was old and we were both working, so it wasn't like we had a ton of time to devote to the search. Even if we did have time, we would never even know where to start. But our researcher was a real professional. It didn't take long at all for him to find Reagan.

Except of course, his name isn't Reagan anymore. It's Steven now. It turns out Steven was born in March of 1961 in Fontana, California. But he found out he was adopted in 1996 when he was 35 years old. When our researcher first contacted Steven, he did it through Facebook of all things. He sent Steven a message saying that his birth mother was trying to find him.

Steven replied back: "Interesting...Is my birth mother still alive? And her name would be Candace? My sister's name is also Candace. My mother and father who raised me never told me I was adopted till about 1996. Only my father who raised me told me this. My mother never told me. She passed away in 2003. I think I have a sister named Debora who is 2 years younger than me. I know absolutely nothing about my birth mother or my biological father. Please enlighten me further.

I've always wanted to find my birthmother, once I was told by my father that I was adopted. I didn't have enough information to conduct an investigation and my mother's daughter, my sister, who is 15 years older than me swore to my mother to never tell me. So to this day the secret rests calmly with my sister. The only way I found out any info that I described is by searching in my mother's drawers for evidence. I found a few letters from my birthmother named Candace. They were dated 1963-64. They were living in Arizona then. That's all I know... I saw a picture of Debora when she must have been about 6 or 7 years old sitting on a white pale in the yard.

This is very exciting to reunite with biological family members. There is so much to learn and so many questions to ask...How many brothers and sisters do I have with the same mother and father? OK...I'm going to give my personal E-mail address to you, to give to any family member who wants it."

As you can see from this first message, Steven is a very open, caring individual and he was very curious about his biological family. Our investigator sent Steven more information about the family, and he replied with the following:

"WOW...!!! I am trying to digest all that info you just sent to me. What a life changing event... I knew that my sister would not cooperate. I think she swore an oath to my mother to never tell me about the adoption. My father finally told me the truth in 1996. He and my mother Valerie had divorced back in 75. I found him living in Northern Santa Barbara, CA in around 1991. He then moved to Astoria Oregon in 94. Sadly he passed away in 1997. He was buried in his home town in Illinois. My mother died on June 2003. She was only 79. She is buried in Riverside, CA. My sister lives in Bullhead City AZ. I have a niece and nephew who live in Riverside still. My nephew lives in my childhood home that I grew up in.

I'm not quite ready to make a phone call yet...This is such a discovery that I need time to digest this. Right now, I would be more comfortable with E-mails to share information. I thought that my biological family had just written me off as a lost family member. I never thought they would try and find me. Do you know what an impact this has on a person?? This takes you all the way back to day 1 of your life. The truth of who I am and who my biological family members are is a person's main root of life. Could you give my personal E-mail address to my uncle, aunt, and even my birth mother if she wants it? I would like to E-mail them and start a family dialog with them. The 541 area code is in Oregon somewhere. I'd like to hear how Candace and my mother became acquainted to talk about adopting me to her. And what was the deal with my biological father?

The reason my name was changed to was that I was going to grade school with "Blackburn", which is my Mother's last name. But my dad living in the home was had a different name... So as I grew older and started asking questions about my last name... Valerie had an attorney change it because Valerie told me that Harlan was my real father. And I believed her so I was glad to have my last name.

So around 1976 my name was changed from then on. Are any of my relatives on Facebook?

My Father, Harlan Baumgartner, told me that my birthmother has blond hair? I have golden fine blond hair and greyish blue eyes. It would be very interesting to find out what color hair and eye color my parents have. I am 6'1" tall. My normal weight is supposed to be about 205 lbs. I don't weight 205 anymore... Interesting that I still have 90% of my hair and have not had a real problem with losing any hair. Probably going way too far for you to answer as it would be better answered by Candace.

I just read your latest reply...How old is Candace? When is her Birthday? You know it was a total fluke that I ever even got on Facebook in the first place. My Sister Candace and all of my "known" family members were "Facebooking" and Candace said... come on join the group with us. I finally said OK after about 1 year of saying No... Now look what happens... My birthmother finds me here on Facebook."

Our reunion has been a dream come true. It seems like every day we are answering more questions and Steven is just so excited to get to know the family. Thank you so much to SQA for all your hard work. We couldn't have done all this without you. We'll keep you posted and up to date as our story continues to unfold. God Bless you!

Written by Mica Burton on behalf of Candace, a Search Quest America client.
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