Race Against Time

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Posted: 12/12/2009
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

My husband is Louis Fry Jr. He is really sick. He has a mass in his brain. It has been going on for four years and the doctors cannot tell us what the mass is. He has had three biopsies and a craniotomy and still no diagnosis. Louis lost his short term memory and has had a stroke due to his illness. We have no medical history on either side of his biological parents. Our hands are tied and we cant help but wonder if finding Louiss biological parents would unlock clues regarding his medical history that would shed light on his current situation. When he first became ill we had no medical background to give them and that was a huge road block for the doctors who have been treating him.

I tried to find his biological parents by going through all the proper channels. We went through the County of Los Angeles Department of children and family services, but had no luck. What they did was send us a letter stating when they first met his birth mother and that was March 2, 1959.They said her pregnancy was secret. It was a private adoption. His birth mother was German, French, Dutch and they think his birth father was English. The birth mother had a brother and sister. She was 14 and he was 17. At the end of the letter they noted that Law permitting meetings between adult adoptees and natural parents was vetoed by Gov. Brown and no such meetings were possible. This letter was dated 10/02/97.

All these facts are black and white, but on a personal level I know my husband would love to know his birth mother and father if possible. He tried to find them in 1976 and basically he had the same response I got. I am just a woman who wants a new beginning and a chance at life for her husband. Finding Louis biological parents is not just a search for piece of mind, it is a search for concrete answers that will help the doctors save his life.

Thats why I contacted Search Quest America. I had already exhausted all of my own efforts and I knew it was time to trust a professional. My case was assigned to Julie Jones, and she found Louis birth mother within 48 hours of our first conversation.

When Julie first told Sharon who she was and that Louis was searching for her, she declined contact. She said that the pregnancy was a distant memory that she had never shared with her husband and children, and she preferred not to rock the boat by making contact with Louis. Thankfully, Julie was persistent. She explained that Louis is dying and he has a wife and family who depend on him. She convinced Sharon that information about her medical background could make all the difference and be the key to saving Louis life. Finally, Sharon agreed to speak with me in secret, without Louis knowledge, and speak with Louis doctors regarding her medical history.

I am still in shock at how things turned out. Of course, I could not keep the secret from Louis for long, and it broke my heart to tell him that his birth mother loves him enough to want to save his life, but is not willing to talk with him, even once, over the phone. I personally am torn between gratitude that she provided medical information and anger that she was unwilling to provide the most important medicine-love and reassurance that Louis was, and has always been loved by the woman who gave him life. I think that as Sharon ponders over her decision, she will reconsider and invite Louis to be a part of her life. I just hope she comes around quickly because none of us know how much time Louis has left.

One of the lessons I have learned from this situation is that there are many factors in life that I cannot control. I cant bring Louis back to good health. I cant make the mass in his brain go away. I cant force Sharon to open her heart to Louis and take the time to answer his questions, I cant even guarantee that my children will grow up with a mother and father at home. In this uncertain situation, I am so glad that I did the right thing and trusted SQA to take our case. Their services were something I could count on, and both Louis and I learned so much in the process of the search that I would not change it for anything in the world. Thanks SQA for all your help and for helping a bad situation be more tolerable for everyone involved. You are all life savers!

(Written by Mica Burton on Charity and Louis behalf.)

Client ID#263907
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