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Posted: 7/18/2009
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

"I'm looking for my daughter's father. He left for Germany on Jan. 19, 1979. I was pregnant with his daughter but neither of us knew it at the time. I waited 5 yrs for him to come back but he never did. He made a career out of the Army. It has now been 30 years and every day I think about this. When I look at my grandson, now 7, I am struck by how much he looks like his grandfather. For years, I continued to better myself in hopes he would come back and be very proud of me and how I raised our daughter. I am a successful real estate broker with a company in two cities, I own and operate an assisted living facility and I have just opened our home and grounds for people to use as a wedding place. My husband says I am so driven that he has never seen anything like it. I have to be the best at everything. I think it's because I have never had closure on this one issue in my life. I am a happy person and I never ask anyone for anything. I have always taken care of things and especially my daughter, but I can't seem to get this taken care of by myself. I need help this time."

That was the email Lisa wrote to Search Quest America in March of 2009. Her daughter, Christy, has known about her father her entire life. Members of her family continue to debate about whether or not James Robert knew about her birth. Lisa sent him a letter when she gave birth, and Christy herself sent him letters periodically throughout her childhood, but received no response.

Lisa's case was assigned to Julie Jones, who solved it in two weeks. Today, James Robert lives in Tennessee with a family of his own. He is married and has several children, the youngest being only 10 years old.

First, Lisa sent him a detailed, heart-felt letter asking him to contact Christy. She received no response. She sent letters to all the addresses provided, but still nothing. After waiting over a month, Lisa contacted James' family, beginning with Christy's grandmother. She was overjoyed to receive the first phone call, and said, "I have wondered about this for thirty years!! When can I meet my grandbaby?" James' sister was also excited to get in touch with Lisa and Christy, and began corresponding through email and providing pictures of the family. She also revealed that they heard a rumor that James had a son, and they encouraged him to seek Lisa out. James refused, denying paternity. He has been married several times throughout the years, became a heavy drinker, and demanded that a DNA test be performed before he would acknowledge Christy.

Lisa and Christy were devastated. Lisa says, "We have been living this dream for thirty years, and we hoped that the reason we had not heard from him was because he never received our letters. The reality is so much worse. He did receive our letters, but didn't even have the courtesy to respond. Christy is heartbroken. I started this search because I wanted to give her closure and a chance at a relationship with her father. Instead he ended up hurting her. She's a big girl and tries not to show it, but I know that deep down it hurts. Even my little grandchildren ask when they can meet their grandpa. We still have hope that after the DNA test confirms his paternity, he might come around. And we are still glad to have closure. Being a single mother was very difficult, but it made me into the strong woman I am today. I am sad for him because he missed out on Christy's childhood, and he might miss the chance to be a part of her adult life.

After we contacted his mom, he googled me on the internet and sent me an email. He said "look, she's not mine. Sorry but you have the wrong guy." To me that was like adding insult to injury. We loved each other once. I responded and said, "She IS yours. You know there was no one else. You can deny it for the next thirty years if you want to, but it doesn't change the fact that you have a daughter who loves you and prays every day that you will pick up the phone and invite her into your life. The choice is yours but I will warn you--if you wait too long you will lose the opportunity to get to know a wonderful woman and your own grandchildren. They look like you."

Lisa and Christy are still waiting for the results of the DNA test. In the mean time they have formed relationships with Christy's grandmother and aunts. They are still waiting for James Robert to come around.

(Written by Mica Burton on Lisa and Christy's behalf.)

Client ID# 229625
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