The Courage to Take the Next Step

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The Courage to Take the Next Step

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Posted: 11/11/2009
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

My parents divorced when I was in 8th grade and at that time my mom revealed that my dad wasn't my blood father. I felt a blow to my identity. I'm interested in looking at the person who is half my blood. I don't want him to know I'm looking for him and I don't know if I want to meet him, but I at least want to know who he is. I've been debating taking this step for 10 years and I have now gotten up the courage to take the next step. I know who I am as a person, but I want to be able to say "oh, I get that from my dad". I am estranged from the man who raised me and am very different in many ways from my half brothers and sisters. For example, I have a love of academics and a desire to build a career where as many of my family members didn't even finish high school and are content with a job to pay the bills. I don't have some big sob story. I just have an ache in my soul to find out who helped create me. Is it too much to ask to be able to look him in the eyes just once and ask him why he never tried to be a part of my life?

When I started this journey I had no idea how much a search like this would cost, or if I could even trust any company with this kind of dream. One day as I was talking with my mom, I found out that my dad had a son before me named Dakota. How could I have gone my entire life without ever knowing I have a brother? What if I passed him on the street or watched a football game he played in or something? Not knowing where my father went or who my brother is drives me crazy, so I decided that I would pursue the search for better or for worse.

I am so relieved to say that hiring SQA was the right decision! They were up front and honest with me from the very start, no tricks at all. My case was assigned to Julie Jones, and she was so patient in answering all of my questions and walking me through the search one step at a time. There were ups and downs along the way. The most bitter moment of the search was when Julie found an obituary that appeared to be my father's. The man was the right age and had lived in the right town and I was heartbroken to think that my father may have passed away only in July of this year. Luckily, it turned out to be a false alarm, and my father (whose name is identical to the man who died) is still alive and well and living in Indiana.

Julie found him by contacting a friend of a friend who agreed to give him a message. I am told that when he first heard that I was looking for him, he was shocked and didn't know what to say. He was worried that I might be angry at him, but when he called me a few days later, both our fears melted away and we got off to the start of a great relationship. It turns out that he is American Indian, which helps me understand not only my facial features and complexion, but my cultural heritage as a person. I am just beginning to get the answers I was searching for and I am so grateful for all of your help! If I have any friends who are also searching for their lost loved ones, I will definitely recommend your services. You have all been wonderful and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

(Written by Mica Burton on Jasmyn's behalf.)

Client ID# 229542
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